I love you because you are making me uncomfortable

This sort of goes with the last one.. So I’m still unemployed, still hopeful… but still unemployed. I’m now trying job fairs.. Anyone that has every done any of them knows how crazy and sometimes, sadly, pointless they can be. Totally overwhelming, fighting nonverbally for the same job we’re all so desperate for. Went to one downtown a few days ago to one hosted by the local unemployment office, 6000 people 70 businesses.. you do the math. It was good to get a solid list of everyone that’s hiring. I went home after standing in line for one business for 45 minutes and applied for every single one through their website. The point of this is that it would be very easy for me to just stay at home and never leave the house. Sometimes the thought of standing in a group of people being compared to the person in front or behind you while you actually have to look at them absolutely terrifies me. I can’t figure out if it’s the fear of failure or something else. I am not the best public speaker, and trying to put into words my abilities and talent for someone doing an interview usually goes over as well as the first time you were called on to read in class in the first grade. Tomorrow I’ll put on my brave face and do it again. Going to seize it and hang on tight.