2013 was definitely a year of not only struggle and pain, but self discovery. I always seem to notice T-shirts, ads, or internet junk that has “inspirational” quotes about internal strength or surviving some hardship. While most of them come across cheesy, it still makes me smile a little on the inside. I didn’t realize how true a lot of them were until now. I now more than ever believe that the more struggles one goes thru, the more colorful and fantastic the person is. More open-minded and driven. When someone faces something they never thought they would make it thru, whether emotional, physical, or other, there is no greater feeling than looking back and knowing you conquered.
My family and I just got back from a vacation. The first time all of us had gone anywhere other than grandmas house as a family. The first time several of them had flown on a plane. We were blessed to be able to go to a much warmer area on the globe. I am not a big outdoors person, but when there’s a beach and warm sand, I forget that I am probably blinding others with my vampiric skin and put on the only pair of shorts I have. Pretending that I belong with all the other leathery looking people. There is huge comfort in knowing you will never see those people again. Since I’ve been back though, I’ve heard “you’re glowing”, “those pictures of yourself are beautiful, did you do something different with yourself?”.
I thought for awhile that it was just the burn/tan I had acquired. But then I started thinking and really began to look at why I appear to others differently right now. I released last year and all the stress that went with it while we were gone. I began caring a lot less about what others think of me, vacationers or not and more about living in the moment. I didn’t have fun on the trio because of where we got to go or what we were doing. I had fun because I got to focus on just my family and spending time together. Without having to worry about what’s going on with my job. How I take things my life to the next level. What my next chapter looks like. I do know this for sure though, I am still in the preface and only a few short pages to turn before the best chapter of all.