I have been told what a rough run I’ve had. Granted most of my adult life has been one bad decision after another. Or one bad relationship after another, or one bad “flip of the coin” after another. Either way, anyone that knows me could probably tell you I took the hard way, made harder by random events. I used to get a lot of pity, sad looks and “aw…. I’m sorry”s. I got lots of pity, sympathy, and well-meant advice. Most of which I rarely listened to. I got used to the rough times and assumed I deserved them. Even worse, I began to expect them, because that’s all there was. I used to apologize a lot, feeling like I as always inconveniencing everyone.
I’m not apologizing anymore. I’m not sad about the bumpiness anymore. I am embracing it, because I’ve come to understand the only reason I have survived this far, is because every single bad moment, upset, or unexpected “fun” times has made me stronger. More capable to handle the next upset. I feel u breakable. I also stopped making horrible decisions. I started listening to the few people that have always had my back. Their advice and warnings and check-ins make me rethink things. I realized I’m usually never right. And I still make mistakes every day. But this time my mistakes aren’t big enough to damage anything significantly. I ask for direction and guidance. I don’t try going at it alone. I trust, very few people… But trust none the less.
I have been made unstoppable.
I am capable of anything.
I am inspired with everything.
I understand more than most.
All of this comes from drowning daily for years. From being at the very bottom of the hopelessness and despair. I have see the worst life has to throw at me, and nothing phases me. Sometimes I have to take a breath, but never do I take it sitting down. So if you’re dealing with the roughest moment in your life, or you have never dealt with one and you are now, know that you will come through this. When you do you will be more kick-ass than you were before. You will be stronger, wiser, more capable, and unstoppable. You can take that strength and help someone else that can’t see the end and feels like they’re never going to be free.
Now, every time a new mountain is thrown in my way, instead of looking at it with disheartened exhaustion, I get a little excited, knowing that once I climb and conquer, I’ll be that much stronger and wiser. We will survive.