My parents raised me to believe I could do anything, be anything. Then I entered the adult world, where I was told frequently I wasn’t good enough, by both employers , relationships and friends. There were years of being beaten down and eventually the lessons my parents taught me disappeared for a larger belief. That I wasn’t good enough. That I was worthless, incapable, a waste of space. I realized after years of unhappiness, drugs and negativity that my quality of life was just not ok. I made a choice to believe that I might actually be more. I don’t know if it was my dad, or brothers who would always push me to be better, but when someone told me I couldn’t do something or I felt like I wasn’t good enough, a primal instinct to prove them wrong kicked in. I began to tell myself that there was something no one else could see inside. I held onto the little parts that I was proud of despite anyone else’s opinions.
To you, crusher of my esteem,
Thank you for writing me off. You made it easy for me to focus on just me, instead of having to worry about what you think of me, or what I can do to make you happy, thank you for telling me I would never be able to do the thing I’ve done. It helped me to realize the only person that controls what I become or what I am capable of is me. Thank you for beating me, emotionally, physically and mentally. It helped me to realize I am much stronger than I thought. You may have put me down, broken me, and ridiculed me. But I put myself back together, one piece at a time. And I am unbreakable. Thank you for ignoring me. It hurt at the beginning but now I realize it was just what I needed to realize you weren’t worth my time. Thank you for being perfectly clear on what you thought of me. Your truth spoke to me and helped me be a better person, your opinions were all noted and I was able to see that much of the negativity was just a reflection of yourself and your unhappiness. And all the pain you cause, intentional and not, might be scars, but those scars have since begun to heal and have made recognizing the same behaviors in others before they can hurt me easy. So the next time someone asks me, how do you do it? Because I get that question a lot. I’m going to tell them I do what I do because I have a lot of people to prove wrong. Then I’m going to thank you… Every person that has walked through my life and caused pain, because YOU are the reason I am succeeding, you are the reason I am unbreakable, you are the reason I know I am capable of anything and everything. Thank you.