I’m learning alot.. I think I’ve said that before.. but it still amazes me as to how much. I got a job offer and have another interview on Wednesday! So much pressure has been lifted and now I’m just trying to enjoy the last couple days I have with my family before I start. I know at the beginning I said I had fallen back in love with my husband, which was true. Along with that came getting to know him better than I ever wanted to. There is a reason people should not be around each other all the time. I’m really looking forward to going to work and being able to look forward to coming home.
While off (which is what I’ve decided to call it.. like an extended vacation), I also have had the pleasure of finding out for the 6th(that I can really remember) time who my “real” support is (friends, mentors and family). Family has always been there, even more now. I’m not sure if I’m getting to know them better because I’m getting older, wiser, or just have more time. Either way, I’ve never felt more supported from all of them. I’ve been able to reconnect with mentors from my childhood even, which I don’t think would have happened had I been “on”. Friends on the other hand have shown who they really are. I’ve tried to pursue some of them for awhile, but it’s become clear they are at a different place in their lives than me.. and that’s ok. I’m still grieving some of them, but know that I’ll find new ones.
Just bored today.. the start date for the new job is still about two weeks away and the pressure to constantly look is lifted. It means I now have tons of time on my hands… tons. I’ve also noticed that doing something nice for someone everyday is much less effort to think about now. I’m doing things and not thinking twice about them (which doesn’t give me the opportunity anymore to talk myself out of it). At the beginning I was more timid about helping or saying something to people for fear of rejection, comments, or dirty looks. The world isn’t used to people being nice.. many of them tend to think you want something, or are trying to trick them in some way. The looks, and comments (if negative) don’t bother me much anymore. And I’m getting better at making people feel more comfortable accepting it. So far, so good. Super excited about the next few weeks!