I love you because you use me like a crutch

‘I love you because’… you use me like a crutch.
Such a blanket statement, so few words, so much power. Words have more of an impact than any other single action. I knew a girl a few years ago that I met through my mother and brother. He had known her sister in a group of friends that would hang out every so often. (Did you follow that?) I go a phone call one day from my mom, telling me she would like me to talk to this girl. At this point she was a woman, and a few years older than me. I was shy, awkward, and uncomfortable in general with people I didn’t know, but felt the need to talk to her. Turns out she was an ex-crack user that used to get abused by her boyfriend and recently found out she was pregnant. Her parents were out of state and knew she was in a bad place but didn’t know how bad. Her sister had tried to reason with her, but the girl had it set in her mind that she wanted to terminate the pregnancy. Looking back on it, I don’t remember the reason I went to talk to her, all I remember thinking is that I wanted to help. If she still wanted to get an abortion when we were done talking, then so be it, at least I tried. We started talking and I found myself drawn to her, completely connected by certain points in our lives that appeared to run pretty parallel. I was a single mom with several kids and had long since realized that the strength of a person comes mostly from the inside, but some from the support structure surrounding the person. I promised her things as we spoke. I promised her that the baby would not be like the boyfriend that had beat her, emotionally and physically. I promised her that she had the strength to be an adult and make adult decisions. I promised her that whatever she decided to do I would be there with her, during and after. I encouraged her to not make choices quickly based out of fear. We continued to talk for several days pretty consistently, and one morning I got a phone call. She wanted to keep the pregnancy and possibly give it up for adoption based on the sex of the child. I drove her to doctor appointments for awhile and emotionally carried her through words when she struggled. She became strong enough to stand on her own and eventually called her parents to let them know what was going on. When she became surrounded by family, she needed me less and less. Eventually she moved to be closer to her family and we lost touch. I heard she had the baby, but don’t know where she is or how she’s doing. She was well supported when she quit calling, and I pray often that she still is. She used me when she needed me and let me go when she had enough support to hold her up and no longer needed mine. I place myself in a position to be used as a crutch as often as I can because I realized a long time ago, that there are many, many people that don’t have the support they need. They either don’t believe in themselves enough, or the support system that should have been set up for them failed. I’ve never had more self worth than when I’m a crutch, and even more when I watch someone I’ve supported be able to stand on their own and move forward. When you see someone hurting, even if you don’t know them, say hi and smile, you make give them the boost they need to make it through.