Dreams. I used to think that everyone had at least one. That house, the one you’ll call home forever and ever, family portrait over the fireplace. That car that you always can’t help but stare at as you drive past the dealership. Those 2 kids you see sometimes in your sleep, with names you’ve had picked out since high school. The perfect job that pays you enough for everything you need, and sometimes everything you want too. That partner, who shares every single part of your life with you, in perfect harmony. The dreams that becomes your motivation and drive. Constantly improving, pushing past boundaries you didn’t think you were capable of. I thought everyone had at least some of these.
Then I realized, the ones that dream, those are the lucky ones. The ones that can internally pull their strength out to the surface and use it to move them closer to what is theirs. But not everyone is that lucky, some lose theirs. I have spent a lot of time lately with a people that have forgotten how to dream. Forgot that they are worth more than what they’ve settled for. That they could do more than just survive every day, that they are worth more. Every day is endlessly repeating, and every ounce of their strength is used to make it till bed so they can survive to do it again tomorrow. It’s more than just the inability to remember how to dream, they’ve lost all hope and self-worth, often they are self-medicating. I’ve found that the point in which someone’s dreams fade into non-memories and when they feel the inescapable appeal to numb usually are indistinguishable from one another. I still can’t figure out which one happens first.
I can look into sparkless eyes, and lose myself in the mass emptiness. Wishing I could reach back in time to wherever their spirit was broken beyond repair and hold it together for them, just enough to give them the strength to hope.
I was one of those people. I had forgotten I had dreams of any kind, for a long time. Until someone did reach back in time for me and held me together long enough so I could remember what I wanted so badly at one point. All it took was the smallest gesture, someone reminding me that I had a choice to live a better life than the one I had been settling for. That I was worth everything I was capable of, and my options are limitless. I’ve found my dreams again and this time they feel closer than ever.
So now my only question is how far would you be willing to go to protect and pursue your dreams?