Hate is such a strong word. We’re taught to not use it when we are young. Chastised for using such a strong emotion when in regards to another person. I used to think we weren’t supposed to use it to spare the other person. That we aren’t supposed to hurt them like that… But that’s not the real reason we shouldn’t hate.
Hate consumes you, not the person you are upset with. It’s a gripping emotion. It can physically change your appearance, change your personality. It can control you, if given the chance. We aren’t taught not to use that word because we are trying to get along with everyone or make everyone feel special and loved… We are taught not to use that word because of the power it carries within ourselves.
This morning I woke up feeling loss for something that has been taken for me. I felt hatred for that person. Then I realized how much energy I was spending on trying to make sure I always remembered what they did, thinking of them as a lesser being… And I’ll admit, even wishing ill on them. It wasn’t hurting them at all…. Just me.
So, this morning, I let go.
I don’t hate you anymore, I know you’re lost and alone and scared. I know you don’t know how to treat people any differently because you haven’t been given the love you deserve. But you do deserve love. On your journey toward finding it, my hope for you is that you are able to open your heart and mind to people that are trying to be there for you and use the opportunities with gratefulness and humility. I hope you are blessed with ease for a time so you can relax and be grateful for what you have. I hope that the scars that have been on you for years will begin to fade into non-existence and eventually disappear without a second thought so you stop pushing everyone away. I hope that you find that your words have more power when you use them to build those around you instead of lashing out and tearing down. I hope you find home…. Where ever that might be. I hope you are overwhelmed with the good in your life.
I’m working on forgiving you, and it may be while, but I don’t hate you anymore. We both deserve better. This one is for you.
