Feelings… nothing but feelings…

I open the “new post” button almost every day and find there’s a lot more fear in telling your feelings to the world than I’ve every experienced before. No one is likely even reading this yet, but the possibility frightens me. Weird. I usually am pretty proud that I can “lay it all out there” and just tell anyone how I’m feeling. I think I’m starting to realize I’m good at listening to how others are feeling and then relating. Kind of like a mirror. Instead of having my own open emotions, I empathize like no one you’ve ever seen before. You cry, I cry, you hurt, I hurt. Similar is the “I love you” project. Everything we do has an effect on everyone else. Many times we don’t even see the effect, if we’re lucky somewhere down the road we get some sight of something positive that we’ve affected. I think that’s the issue, that we have become complacent with ‘sometimes’ seeing the positive. With the economy (that nasty word everyone has been throwing around for several years now) and so many people in situations you wish you could just turn away from it feels so hopeless and final. I don’t know if what I’m doing is making a real difference, maybe not financially, but I’m aiming more at the mental. I plan to do 10,000 random acts of kindness over the course of my lifetime, more if I’m blessed to get the time. In 2009 I did one a day. This year I’m aiming for 2 or more. Funny thing is I used to think that random acts needed to be big, or elaborate, like buying a strangers groceries, but you’d be surprised how far holding a door open or telling someone why you love them will go.