So you work hard.. you fail, alot. You also succeed sometimes. Every success, you learn to celebrate. Then you fail, hard.. harder than you ever have… mortality even may play a part. Looking at the very making of your being to determine where you feel the flaw is. Now it’s been a long time since you feel like you’ve done anything successful, anything that you can be proud of. There’s increasing pressure now from not just yourself, but your family to do better, to make their lives better too. The pressure becomes unbearable, so you begin to look for ways to alleviate it. Some good, some bad.. nothing really ever helps. Then, someone gives you a break. Things start to fall into place like a well oiled machine, or like a precision cut puzzle. You wonder if you deserve this. You wonder if this is the fruits of your labors, answer to prayers, or even if your dreams are coming true sometimes. You’re so close to tasting the grass on the other side of the fence. You wonder if you’re strong enough, smart enough… brave enough to be what they all think you can be, what you should be.
I wish I had the ability to relax and just let things go where they might…