I love you because you said ‘no’….

Day 5
I have been abused… mentally, physically and emotionally. It usually starts slow and you don’t realize it, becoming conditioned to it, while it gradually gets worse and worse, tearing you completely apart. Eventually it’s “normal”… until someone else points it out. I realized the other day when one of my kids was in a situation where she had to physically push someone off of her several times, that somewhere in her social circle, she had began to be conditioned. She told me about the incident and I freaked out. She kept telling me that it was ok, “nothing really happened” that she “was safe”. The fact that she had to say no, several times, terrifies me and shouldn’t have even occurred. Then I wondered, how much of her tolerance came from watching me? How many times did they her or see me being abused, the aftermath of me crying or cowering in my room, and me assuring them.. that I was ok. The note I left today was “you deserve respect”. Demand it for yourself, give it freely until it becomes unearned. Respect for your body, your mind, your future, your surroundings and your things. Respect for your thoughts and what you let others pour into you and your self-esteem. And when someone makes you feel like less of a person, or that you “owe” them… remind yourself, you are unapologetically you, and if they can’t or won’t respect that, they have no place in your future.