You leaving was the best thing you ever did for me…

You left. It hurt, but the days keep coming and eventually the sharp pain turned into a dull ache. It’s no longer unbearable, not it a reminder that it was a good thing we had, but an even better thing when it was over.

You made me believe, while you were here, that I needed you. That I couldn’t survive without you. You leaving taught me that I was strong enough to do anything on my own.

When you left, you told me the kids were not your problem, and as it turns out, you were excellent at proving that. It gave me a perspective on being the only adult in their lives more than I think a two-parent household would have. Do they take it for granted that the other parent will always be there to pick up the slack when one is having an off day? Or when they want to sleep in, that the other will get up because it’s their turn. I have the honor of watching them, every single day, every moment. Thank you for that. Your absence allowed me to not have to share, and for that I am truly grateful.

When you left, you told me no one would want me, I was tired and worn out. For awhile, I believed it. Until I stopped seeing myself through your eyes and started seeing myself through love. You gave me the opportunity to build myself up from nothing, because that’s what I was to you. And when you are nothing, the only thing to do is become something. You gave me the courage to fight for a better me, and win. Thank you.

When you left, you told me I was the worst decision you ever made. Because of this, I easily discern now when I’m a choice, and when I’m not. You stopped making me your choice, long before you actually left. I had to reconcile that, and no longer accept second place. Thank you for showing me, for so long, what that felt like, without it I wouldn’t know when to walk away. Thank you.

When you left you broke their hearts. They are having to learn how to get over heartbreak at a much younger age than I ever did. But they are mine, and resilience runs in their blood. They are wave-makers, critical thinkers, and can see through to someone’s intentions in the first three minutes. You created part of that, when you left. Thank you.

You broke me, all of you. Into pieces, that every time, I’ve had to put mine back together, the whole is becoming more and more unbreakable. You showed me there are better options. You taught them how not to be. I never would have known, until you left. Thank you.

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