quarantine day 736

Today I am choosing to be grateful. Lots of time to think about everything. Don’t get me wrong, I think about everything all the time anyway, but these thoughts are different. Time is moving slower. Slower in such a way that my normal thought process that skips from idea to curiosity like a 4 year old on caffeine has changed into full thoughts, slow.. from beginning to end.

This morning I was looking through Facebook memories. Mostly because I like to self-torture. I realized this month is my yearly anniversary of being clean. I used to struggle with sobriety. As does everyone that has ever tried to get clean or sober. Now a year has passed faster than a blink. With the quarantine going on, I wondered how many addicts are hurting right now? How many people are being forced to face withdrawal alone? How many people are trying drugs as an escape, not realizing that none of us had that first high realizing we had just sealed ourselves into a label? No one starts using to become addicted. But that’s usually where it ends up. Today, my heart hurts for them. I am grateful I am not withdrawing, or trying to find a way to make money for drugs, and that another year went by easily.

I got a call a few hours ago. My daughter, crying. I immediately went into “mom” mode.. assuming the worst. Turns out she had a flat tire. The first in her driving career. I had to go “rescue” her. She had pulled into a parking lot on the side of the road, but beyond moving out of traffic, she didn’t know yet what to do. I got there and walked her through jacking the car up, removing the bolts, putting the spare on, and taking the jack out.. Then we watched at the tire slowly sink rim-to-ground. The spare is flat. I am grateful that 9 years ago my dad gave me a car emergency kit with a small hand-held air compressor in it and I have carried it, unused for 9 years in the back of every car I drive. I am also grateful that 20-something years ago, he taught me how to change a tire and check the air pressure. I have used that skill several dozen times since then. Today, I was able to pass on that skill to my daughter, so she too can feel like a bad-ass next time she gets a flat and a guy pulls over and she tells him she’s got it, but thanks.

Yesterday, we celebrated my youngest child’s 14th birthday. We went nowhere and he received no presents. But we did have dinner and cake together and talked about what we appreciated about him. I’m grateful that all of my kids see material items as less important than the time we spend together.

I’m grateful for my mom, who offers calm reassurance.. all the time. And who has also been sewing masks non-stop for people all over the country.

No cute/funny stories today.. except this lovely “cheat” I discovered today. I am boredom eating. I know I am, I am also eating my feelings.. makes for potential of weight gain (I say potential, but I know it’s happening) Today, I discovered when I put on a bra it made my stomach disappear. so, you aren’t chubby… you just need a better bra.

This entry was posted in 2020. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply