So tired of feeling alone.
In a world full of so many souls.
All different, the need to connect with even one more difficult than I had hoped.
So superficial.
So busy.
So self involved.
People, say they care,
How is it that I feel like there is no one to talk to,
Days go by without meaningful connectivity,
I feel like I’ve chosen this.
This lonely, individual path.
This one,
That only I am walking on.
I’ve shared many paths.
Shared with people that have their own priorities
Their goals and dreams,
Their desires.
All masked,for a time, to look like something I wanted,
In reality,
When we arrived at a destination, whether they were fulfilled or not,
I never was.
So I chose to walk alone.
Or is it choose?
Occasionally distracted by the companionship of others,
Shortly realizing, again,
It just wasn’t right.
It isn’t right.
It’s not for me.
So I broke off, again, and again,
Walking alone.
There are days I feel it worse than others,
Those are the days I want more than anything,
To snuggle up to the idea of a partner that no one will ever fill completely.
Comforted by ideals that don’t exist in my world.
Yet.
The hope is still there,
Faint as it may be.
In the meantime,
Loneliness temporarily thwarted by the illusion of my other half.
But,
Maybe there is no other half.
Maybe I am a whole, alone.
Not needing a puzzle piece to fit mine,
Instead, finding the edges to my own picture, as I journey.
Building my own masterpiece through each obstacle I face alone.
Realizing that I don’t need the other side of the picture,
I need the frame.
A perfect compliment to my originality.
If my picture never gets framed,
It won’t make it any less beautiful or complete.
But today.
Today,
I’m still working on completing the abstract art that I am becoming,
And that patch of blue loneliness
Is now forever part of the landscape.