I love you because I lost it all….

Posted on January 6, 2016 by Admin

As the year came to a close, I noticed on social media the common theme was
“This year was horrible, I hope the next year is better.” They scream that they are all looking for hope. Hope of a new future, the next chapter, positive change. And I realized, it bothered me. Truthfully, it kind of ticked me off. What happened to being grateful for the moments we get, good and bad? What happened to working hard, being self-motivated, and going after what you want. I feel like we have officially entered an era where this generation is waiting for life to give them what they are owed. Spoiler, life doesn’t owe anyone. Ever. A few years ago, I began to look at everything differently. What defines us, isn’t what life happened to us, but what we do with the things that do happen. How much fight we have, drive we pull, happiness we create. I watch friend after friend talk about how the year was horrible, they didn’t achieve anything they were thinking they would have because they sat back and waited for it to happen. Causing the severe disappointment when the winning lotto ticket didn’t fall in their lap. This year was full of devastating losses, but it was one of the best years I’ve ever had.

I lost my grandfather, someone I thought was immortal. He silently inspired me by showing me unyielding patience, not only with me, but with my kids. The loss is still incredibly painful, not only for me, but for my parents, my kids and my grandma, and everyone whose lives he touched.

Because I lost him, I was able to learn that the love I dreamed about as a child does exist, there can be years of commitment and fairytale togetherness with the right person. And that we shouldn’t take even one moment for granted. The difference between the next time and the last time you see someone could be minutes.

I lost the man I thought I would be with forever, someone I thought was a best friend, and in doing so, I realized you can’t fight for someone when they won’t fight for you.

But I gained the ability to love me for me, not for what someone else thinks I should be.

I lost several people this year that I thought would be in my life forever. Some of them may eventually make their way back, but I’m done chasing and compromising who I am and my beliefs for their benefit.

But I gained the ability to let go. It doesn’t shut off my love for them, but it does let me live with no regrets and no shame. If I’m happy with who I am, then I don’t care if those that choose to exit don’t want the real me in their life.

I lost a drug addiction, for good. Not just a drug addiction, but addiction period. I realized that being in unhealthy relationships because I was compromising who I was, were making it too easy to have an excuse to use.

But I gained the wisdom I needed to see a bad situation before it happens, and the strength to stay away from them completely.

I lost my safety net. It became time for me to stand in my own feet again. And quit relying completely on others to try to hold my life together.

But I learned it’s ok to fail, as long as you get back up and try again. I also gained the knowledge that I am capable of whatever I put my mind to, something I had forgotten long ago.

I lost my fear of cancer.

But I learned that the people that could see through the attempts to be strong, when all I felt was the overwhelming desire to sit in the corner, cry, and give up, are the ones I want to keep around forever.

I lost my timid self.

But I realized the only way I will get to where I want to be, is going after it myself. And be somewhat loud about it.

I lost depression. It started by making a conscious effort every day to get excited to wake up, go to work, maybe make a difference for some of the amazing men I see every day. I realize that this doesn’t sound like a bad loss, but I was comfortable and complacent in my depression.

But I gained natural joy. Now I don’t have to make an effort, I find myself with a grin on my face all day long, without realizing it. Oddly enough, those grins are kind of contagious.

I lost a lot of weight, partially because of the radiation, but mostly because I decided to spend a large part of my down time being active and in doing so, I also lost my craving for junk food, sugars and soda. Again, doesn’t sound like a horrible loss, but in it, I lost my need to eat my feelings.

I’ve gained the realization that I can make things happen exactly as I want them to, and that nothing controls me, but me.

I lost my need for codependency.

And I’ve gained the ability to be happy alone, which has made turning down options that might not be the best for me, easily. And allowed me to find someone that is better for me than I thought was possible.

If I were to take in to account just the losses, it was one of the toughest yet. But when I look at what I’ve gained, there isn’t even a comparison. More than anything I’ve lost or gained this year, I got the lesson that every hard moment is an opportunity to build myself up stronger than before, so when I come out on the other side, I’m even more untouchable and indestructible than I was before.

So, think about all the struggles you’ve had this last year, and be grateful that you got the opportunity to find inner strength you didn’t know existed, friends that wouldn’t give up on you no matter what, or people that believe in you more than you believe in yourself. Or maybe you are learning to believe in yourself. Be grateful you get to wake up every morning and go be the badass your struggles are shaping you into. You never know who you will run into today and what an inspiration you might be to them, whether you know it or not. This year holds whatever you choose to make of it. It probably is going to have some serious bumps… but you and you alone, will determine if this is the best year you’ve ever had.

Posted in 2016, Life, Loss, Love | Leave a comment

I love you because you made me hold the cactus tighter…

Posted on December 27, 2015 by Admin

Our initial reaction to pain, not physical, but emotional or mental is to coil from it. Retract into ourselves. Someone says something painful or does something that hurts. Someone makes fun of you. A boyfriend forgets an important date. A girlfriend tells you you’re lazy. A stranger cuts you off and you feel invisible. The person you thought you were supposed to be with forever, walks away. Devastation, heart break, self-doubt. You retreat inside yourself, mentally licking your wounds, wondering why you aren’t good enough and you begin the spiral of analyzing your entire way of thought. Why can some people so easily hurt you and cut so deeply, sometimes in ways you can’t ever imagine yourself hurting anyone else the same way.

Know that they were hurt the same way by someone they cared about at some point in their lives. They probably shut themselves off to future hurt and by doing so shut off the compassion they were able to feel for other people. I’m not making excuses for them, and we all heard it growing up from someone the firs time someone at school made fun of you and you told your parental figure. The response is similar to “they just don’t feel good about themselves so they are making fun of someone else”. Whole that may be true, it doesn’t make the pain any less. The damage has been done. Someone you cared about, or cared what they thought of you did or said something that made you doubt who you are. Some take weeks or years to recover from. But about a year ago, I was letting myself get hurt over and over by someone I cared very much about, but it was clear they didn’t care the same for me. I didn’t care and I stuck myself in front of their train of nastiness, abuse and heartbreak, over and over. It hurt worse, every time. Until finally they were removed from my life. The pain of the removal stung, more than anything I’d ever felt before. And I wallowed in it, for weeks. Until I woke up one day and had had enough. I realized my love for this person would never go away, but for myself I needed to change something. So I decided to feel the pain. To stop shutting it off and trying to distract with other things. I embraced it. Pulled it close until I couldn’t breathe. And amazingly, something shifted almost immediately. I began to not only forgive, but release as well. Instead of a constant, wound licking pain that seemed never ending, in a matter of days, it went from sharp , knock you on the floor, take your breath away pain, to dull, quickly fading into nothingness pain. I forgave them, I moved on, I was able to put it in the past. So now, anytime anything hurts, I remind myself if I can’t feel the pain, it won’t ever get better and I grab it hard. I let it completely consume me, remind myself that I my worth and abilities are only limited by what I determine they are. It doesn’t mean I don’t get hurt. It means I’m not shutting down, I’m not dulling my feelings, I’m not shutting my compassion for others off. I am learning to remove negativity and hurtful people from my life. I am forgiving, and with that comes forgetting. I am more sensitive to the words that come out of my mouth and the promises I back up with actions.

Learning to embrace the pain is like being given truth that hurts. I would rather have someone be honest with me, even when it hurts, than to stretch out some soft blow over a long period of time. The difference is I know that’s only their truth, and while it might be real to them, I don’t have to let it be real to me. And if they really feel the way they do because they don’t see my worth the way I am, then maybe I need to evaluate who they are to me. I’ve let a lot of people go recently, and will continue throughout my life.

Be good to others, your harsh word, broken promise, or inability to see things from their perspective may hurt them more than you know, you might mean more to them than they tell you, and your ability to hurt them might far exceed your expectations.

Posted in 2015, Life, Loss, Love | Leave a comment

I love you because you told me I was nothing…

Posted on December 14, 2015 by Admin

I am better.

I am better than those who try to fit me within their parameters,
Their tiny minds failing to understand who I am because of where I’ve been.

I am better than marks on a page or in a book,
Analyzed by someone that will never know me,
And probably doesn’t know themselves.

I am better than a statistic.
I refuse to be a number, fading into history without making more of an impact than a percentage mark.

I’m better than the drugs that used to define me.
Define not only me, but my relationships, friendships, and decisions.

I am better than yesterday,
Because yesterday is just that, in the past.
And the me that was there, no longer exists.

I am better than those things you told me I would never be,
Because I can do anything, even if I haven’t tried yet.

I am better than my mistakes, even the ones I made today,
They will shape who I am tomorrow.

I am better than what you will ever see in me,
Because the only person that can hold my value, is me.

I am better than that failure,
Because it taught me to try again.

I am better because I love who I am,
And if you can’t understand why or when you tell me I’m not,
It won’t matter,
Because I am better than the me that you see.

I am better than the lies you fed me for so long,
They built a false empire that I can blow down with one breath.

I am better than the way you treated me for so long.
The abuse.
The neglect.
The loneliness.

I am better because I can.
I am better because I will.
I am better because I am.

I am better than who I was, and I will be better than who I am becoming,
Because of you, I know I’m better.

Maybe if you knew your value, you would be better too.

Posted in 2015, Life | Leave a comment

I love you because you weren’t for me…

Posted on November 16, 2015 by Admin

So tired of feeling alone.
In a world full of so many souls.
All different, the need to connect with even one more difficult than I had hoped.
So superficial.
So busy.
So self involved.
People, say they care,
How is it that I feel like there is no one to talk to,
Days go by without meaningful connectivity,
I feel like I’ve chosen this.
This lonely, individual path.
This one,
That only I am walking on.

I’ve shared many paths.
Shared with people that have their own priorities
Their goals and dreams,
Their desires.
All masked,for a time, to look like something I wanted,
In reality,
When we arrived at a destination, whether they were fulfilled or not,
I never was.

So I chose to walk alone.
Or is it choose?
Occasionally distracted by the companionship of others,
Shortly realizing, again,
It just wasn’t right.
It isn’t right.

It’s not for me.
So I broke off, again, and again,

Walking alone.

There are days I feel it worse than others,
Those are the days I want more than anything,
To snuggle up to the idea of a partner that no one will ever fill completely.
Comforted by ideals that don’t exist in my world.
Yet.
The hope is still there,
Faint as it may be.

In the meantime,
Loneliness temporarily thwarted by the illusion of my other half.

But,
Maybe there is no other half.
Maybe I am a whole, alone.
Not needing a puzzle piece to fit mine,
Instead, finding the edges to my own picture, as I journey.
Building my own masterpiece through each obstacle I face alone.
Realizing that I don’t need the other side of the picture,
I need the frame.
A perfect compliment to my originality.
If my picture never gets framed,
It won’t make it any less beautiful or complete.

But today.
Today,
I’m still working on completing the abstract art that I am becoming,
And that patch of blue loneliness
Is now forever part of the landscape.

Posted in 2015, Life, Loss, Love | Leave a comment

I love you because you made it easy to forget…

Posted on November 11, 2015 by Admin

Giving someone a second chance is something that’s always been easy for me. And a third, fourth, and sometimes tenth. I’ve been told it’s a sign of weakness. “Why let them back into your life”, “they wouldn’t do the same for you”, “you’re showing them how easily they can walk all over you”, and my favorite “they’re just going to do it again”. It seems I have a very high tolerance for not only pain directed at me, but other’s stupidity. I forget what they did quickly and forgive even faster. The previous pain caused, disappearing before I know it. Holding onto past hurt has never been a strong suit of mine, and I’ll admit, it probably is a reason I get sucked into repetitive situations that aren’t the best for me, and I get burned, or hurt again and again. I used to tell people I bounce really well. Because I do, after a short period of licking my wounds, they disappear and I am ready to face the world, once again and all the crap it has to throw at me. My need to forgive and forget is so buried in my self that it comes as second nature now. The ability to compartmentalize and leave behind is something I don’t even think about anymore. When it’s gone, it’s gone. Is that good or bad?

Sometimes I want to hold onto the pain, because sometimes people don’t change and it would be good to remember who they were and what they are capable of so I can handle myself better the next time. However, I have an unwavering belief that all people can change for the better, and that every person needs a second chance sometimes. I was given them, I AM given them, every day. I see children, growing into adults, with little to no chance at being anything more than a statistic. Another jail rabbit, in and out faster than the system can realize it. Begging on the corner for spare change, probably for drugs or a drink. Giving up because they believe no one cares or that they are unloveable. Those are the ones I forgive for, forget the pain. Their actions a direct result of them believing they are nothing more than a waste of space. The ones that haven’t ever been shown love, or affection, or loyalty. The ones that when I say “I love you unconditionally” they push limits to try to see if I’m just another liar, promising something I have no intention of fulfilling, ready to push them away at the first sign of spikes instead of roses.

But do I really do it for them?

Forgiving comes easily with practice, forgetting easier. But the memories of when someone truly appreciates the second chance they are given, regardless of what for, are stored forever. Those memories cushion the pain for the next time, making it faster and effortless eventually to brush things off. There are some people that will never change and when I’ve taken enough of a beating and I walk way, it doesn’t mean I stop loving or caring, it means I am walking away for me. I still care deeply for them, Nd always will, and if there is change, there will always be another chance. It might not be at the same level the first ones were, but I won’t give up.

Giving second chances isn’t a weakness, it’s a strength. It’s easy to stand on the side of life and watch but never participate. It takes courage and resolve to step a foot in and take the chance to get hurt again, and possibly again. I don’t do it for them, I do it for me. Because I want to feel alive. I want others to get the chance to appreciate the second chances they’ve been given, just as I do. I want to live life with no regrets, hoping that somewhere I made a difference. Giving second chances makes me notice the opportunities I’m given more clearly than ever. Because life is so short and so precious sometimes a second chance is more than we can hope for. Every morning I will take the day for what it is, a second chance to do more, and be that ray of light that someone was to me.

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I love you because you made me think I was nothing….

Posted on September 14, 2015 by Admin

My parents raised me to believe I could do anything, be anything. Then I entered the adult world, where I was told frequently I wasn’t good enough, by both employers , relationships and friends. There were years of being beaten down and eventually the lessons my parents taught me disappeared for a larger belief. That I wasn’t good enough. That I was worthless, incapable, a waste of space. I realized after years of unhappiness, drugs and negativity that my quality of life was just not ok. I made a choice to believe that I might actually be more. I don’t know if it was my dad, or brothers who would always push me to be better, but when someone told me I couldn’t do something or I felt like I wasn’t good enough, a primal instinct to prove them wrong kicked in. I began to tell myself that there was something no one else could see inside. I held onto the little parts that I was proud of despite anyone else’s opinions.

To you, crusher of my esteem,

Thank you for writing me off. You made it easy for me to focus on just me, instead of having to worry about what you think of me, or what I can do to make you happy, thank you for telling me I would never be able to do the thing I’ve done. It helped me to realize the only person that controls what I become or what I am capable of is me. Thank you for beating me, emotionally, physically and mentally. It helped me to realize I am much stronger than I thought. You may have put me down, broken me, and ridiculed me. But I put myself back together, one piece at a time. And I am unbreakable. Thank you for ignoring me. It hurt at the beginning but now I realize it was just what I needed to realize you weren’t worth my time. Thank you for being perfectly clear on what you thought of me. Your truth spoke to me and helped me be a better person, your opinions were all noted and I was able to see that much of the negativity was just a reflection of yourself and your unhappiness. And all the pain you cause, intentional and not, might be scars, but those scars have since begun to heal and have made recognizing the same behaviors in others before they can hurt me easy. So the next time someone asks me, how do you do it? Because I get that question a lot. I’m going to tell them I do what I do because I have a lot of people to prove wrong. Then I’m going to thank you… Every person that has walked through my life and caused pain, because YOU are the reason I am succeeding, you are the reason I am unbreakable, you are the reason I know I am capable of anything and everything. Thank you.

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I love you just because you tried to break me and I bounced…

Posted on August 16, 2015 by Admin

I have been told what a rough run I’ve had. Granted most of my adult life has been one bad decision after another. Or one bad relationship after another, or one bad “flip of the coin” after another. Either way, anyone that knows me could probably tell you I took the hard way, made harder by random events. I used to get a lot of pity, sad looks and “aw…. I’m sorry”s. I got lots of pity, sympathy, and well-meant advice. Most of which I rarely listened to. I got used to the rough times and assumed I deserved them. Even worse, I began to expect them, because that’s all there was. I used to apologize a lot, feeling like I as always inconveniencing everyone.

I’m not apologizing anymore. I’m not sad about the bumpiness anymore. I am embracing it, because I’ve come to understand the only reason I have survived this far, is because every single bad moment, upset, or unexpected “fun” times has made me stronger. More capable to handle the next upset. I feel u breakable. I also stopped making horrible decisions. I started listening to the few people that have always had my back. Their advice and warnings and check-ins make me rethink things. I realized I’m usually never right. And I still make mistakes every day. But this time my mistakes aren’t big enough to damage anything significantly. I ask for direction and guidance. I don’t try going at it alone. I trust, very few people… But trust none the less.

I have been made unstoppable.

I am capable of anything.

I am inspired with everything.

I understand more than most.

All of this comes from drowning daily for years. From being at the very bottom of the hopelessness and despair. I have see the worst life has to throw at me, and nothing phases me. Sometimes I have to take a breath, but never do I take it sitting down. So if you’re dealing with the roughest moment in your life, or you have never dealt with one and you are now, know that you will come through this. When you do you will be more kick-ass than you were before. You will be stronger, wiser, more capable, and unstoppable. You can take that strength and help someone else that can’t see the end and feels like they’re never going to be free.

Now, every time a new mountain is thrown in my way, instead of looking at it with disheartened exhaustion, I get a little excited, knowing that once I climb and conquer, I’ll be that much stronger and wiser. We will survive.

Posted in 2015, Life | Leave a comment

I love you because you disappeared…

Posted on July 26, 2015 by Admin

What’s really important? A job? House? Car? Kids? Money? That question is something I’ve been asking myself for awhile. I’ve been trying to “get my life together” for more years than not, since getting a life. Then, a little while ago, I realized, I was chasing the wrong things. While a good job, family (if that’s what you want), nice car, and plenty of money might make things go the way you envisioned.. Is it the most important thing? Is it really what you truly want?

Or is living with no regrets, no stress and being happy the ultimate goal?

I get asked for advice on decisions sometimes and my answers are usually the same. Ask yourself, will it hurt someone? Will it stress me out? Is it something I will regret, both in the yes and the no? And will I be happy afterwards? Those 4 questions have been a breath of fresh air, making each day a no regret, happy, carefree day. I have been ridiculed for my decisions and some have tried to make points on the opposite side of my choice. Ultimately, I’m the one that has to live with what I chose and what direction I am headed. As long as I’m ok with it, and it’s making me happy, then the opposing views don’t matter. But even more important than being ok with my decisions are the relationships and friendships I choose to surround myself with. If I could go talk to my younger self, I would probably tell me to follow my instincts, and not let any person determine who I care about, or who I choose to keep in my life.

I have a habit of talking to strangers. It’s like a treasure hunt. There are a lot of polite conversations and weirdness out there, but occasionally, I find a treasure. The treasures are the ones that are worth all the time I can give them. They are the ones I will be talking to for years to come.

To you, my wonderful treasures.. You can always count on me to be there, unconditionally and with everything I can offer.

Rarely in my life do I get close to people. They get close to me, but I have a hard time opening up and showing anything else than the strong, confident, capable person that I typically pretend I am, usually never happens. There’s always those few though, that touch my soul. They make things make sense. Their very presence is intoxicatingly calming, soothing and safe. Those friends are the ones I will bend over backwards for. I will make the extra effort to be what they need me to be because they are very much what I crave. Those friends are the ones you can pick up the phone and talk and it feels like not a day has gone by. Those relationships are the ones that as much as I am dumping in, they are pushing back out towards me.

So while I continue on this path of stress-less, freer thinking, and decisions I won’t regret, I will continue to work on the relationships and friendships that are worth my time because I’m worth theirs. To me. That is the most important thing. The ones that I had to let go of, were equally important, serving a purpose in lessons that will also span my lifetime. Lessons that putting time into something that doesn’t return anything is not worth it when I could be focusing on someone or something that will brighten my life immeasurably.

So, if there’s someone you haven’t spoken to in awhile, but they touch your soul, reach out to them, chances are you touch theirs too.

To you, my lost friend, I have never been more grateful for a second chance. Thank you.

 

 

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I love you just because you are just like me….

Posted on May 24, 2015 by Admin

When did it become ok to treat you like you are worth nothing? When did it become normal to get told every day  that you aren’t worth the air you breathe? When did it become ok for the people in your life that promised to protect you, to hold you to a higher standard, to build you up and make you want to be a better person… When did it become ok to destroy you? When did you stop believing in yourself so much that you stopped believing in others too? Why is it so easy for you to spread the same destructive cancerous words that you were fed for so long… Breaking down those you loved.

It breaks my heart to watch you hurt, knowing that you let those poisonous words in, deeper and deeper every time you are cut. I know you constantly fight with yourself. First wondering why someone would say that to you. Then letting the words become part of you. Eventually, searching for the truth behind every word. You began to justify it, after all, why would you hear it so much if it wasn’t true? Then the justification became validation. They were right, every time. Why didn’t you always see the damaged, broken, useless, person that you are… That you have always been.

But, they weren’t right.

You aren’t damaged, just different.

You aren’t broken, just seasoned.

You are far from useless.

What they have told you are imperfections, are beautiful uniquenesses.

Your pain is what drives you. That pain that you think no one understands. It motivates you to make decisions the rest of them can’t make sense of. Because they haven’t had to feel what you’ve felt, lived what you’ve lived. They’ve never died inside like you have because you tried and someone told you you’re a failure.

Because you tried, you will never be a failure.

Because you love with your entire soul, you’ll hurt with the same intensity, but it doesn’t make you less of a person. It means you have a bigger heart.

When you feel alone, broken, beaten and feel like giving up. Know that I believe in you. I believe in your future. I believe in your dreams. I believe in your hopes. I believe you are capable, purposeful and stronger than you will realize for awhile. I believe you are going to pull yourself up from that dark, hopeless place and stand up with no guilt, shame or baggage. You will accomplish whatever you put your mind to, because of the things you once called imperfections. You don’t need to listen to those words, the ones that are spoken from mouths of people who are discontent with their ability to see the world the way you do. They fear the power they can sense you have, because they don’t understand. They were told they would be failures as well. The difference is if you choose to believe them, or listen to the voice inside that tells you,

You are strong.

 

You are beautiful, inside and out.

You are worth it.

You are capable.

 

Your dreams are in your reach.

You mean something to someone.

As long as you don’t give up, you are going to change the world.

 

 

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I love you just because you broke me again and again…

Posted on April 25, 2015 by Admin

I’ve been accused of caring too much. I didn’t know that was a thing, or I guess I should say even a possibility. I still don’t think that’s a possibility… I think the world doesn’t care enough. I’ve come to realize that after I’ve know you awhile, something happens and I can no longer ‘not care’ about you. No matter what the course of our relationship, or obstacles that happen to be on the path, I can’t switch it off, ever. This includes people that have hurt or wronged me, no matter how bad it was. I don’t know why I’m built like this, but it makes for very long friendships/relationships. I might go a while without reaching out to you (especially if you hurt me), but if you pick up the phone and call me…. I’m always available for an ear, a shoulder… And many times, whatever else I can help with.

Why do I have to be a rescuer? It can incredibly rewarding, but mostly it’s incredibly exhausting and trying. Emotionally I find myself completely drained and broken into million pieces, over and over. I can’t tell you how my times I have prayed, or sought advice on how to be able to walk away, how to hold onto the pain and hurt that was caused, so I don’t get hurt again. I forgive easily and forget slightly after. And I open my heart and arms to anyone and everyone again and again. Always wanting to believe that they are really changed this time, and I’m not just being used, but that they actually will take the help I’m offering or they’ve asked for and use it as a launching pad for the better direction they claim they are looking for.

Unfortunately, the ones that have done the most damage, those are the ones my heart seems to hold onto harder, those are the ones I care about more and cry over harder, again and again. I want the best for them, those broken souls, the lost and directionless… But after so many times of jumping to their aid, and watching them crumble again and again after the resources from the help are gone… Maybe it’s time for tough love. Am I strong enough? Did I finally grow up enough to realize that I can’t save everyone by giving them what they want? Instead, I’m stepping back, praying a lot, and letting them take care of themselves for a change. Which is what they need. No easy outs, no spoon fed moments, no answers to the problems. Just a friend, who will be there to listen if you need.

So to you, my beautiful, broken, lost, hurting friend. A promise, forever.

I will be there to encourage you and tell you I’ve always believed you can be better, bigger and more incredible than you give yourself credit for. I will cheer you on, because I know you are capable. And I will always love you, for you, no matter how much you struggle, how many times you fall, or what path you choose. I will love you despite your failures and successes, when you have wealth and when you have nothing. I will love you unconditionally, unwaveringly and without expectations. You will always have a place in my heart and you are always on my mind. I am here, always. I believe in you.

Posted in 2015, Life, Loss, Love | Leave a comment